Saturday, December 31, 2011

Quick Kick in the Pant's Guide to Finding Your Boyfriend in 2012

In the spirit of New Years and planning for the future I have a post about how you can meet your boyfriend you've been seeking - this year.

Below is a great post I came across at one of the forums that I frequently visit with a list of guidelines not only going out there and finding the guy who's searching for you but also how to get your life in shape, written in a kick in the pants tone.  I've included some notes in parenthesize. 

"Firstly, I've been in a relationship for 30 years now.

My first relationship didn't come along until I was 21.
(This guy is a bit ahead of a lot of guys who don't or haven't even come out at 30 yet)

That did not stop me from having fun and working hard at finding the right guy. I hate to say it again, but a lot of the young (gay/bi guys) these days seem to think that a relationship is something on FacepageTwitterBook. It isn't. Many seem to think that a bf will fall from the sky into their lap. He won't. (Very true statement but online dating has it's merits and is good to cast the widest net to use alongside offline dating methods)

A lot of people think a relationship or having a bf is all about cuddling and hugging. If that is what you want, then I suggest getting a dog. In my case, I had no hesitation moving right to sex once there was a real connection. With both of my LTR's we ripped the sheets up the first date and our passion for each other and our sexual compatibility solidified the relationship.

(While different people have different rules about hooking up please note he isn't referring to hooking up- it's the how many dates should you go on before having sex rule he's referring to. Do what feel's best for you if there's chemistry. Seems like counter intuitive advice for building a long term relationship but a lot of people have gotten in great long term relationships where there was mutual attraction and they didn't wait)

If you are chronically depressed and in need of counseling or therapy, seek this out. And I will repeat the rest of this for you only one more time. A lot of it is the same as Palbert wrote so pay attention to us because we're older, with a lot of direct experience and seeing what friends have gone through as well.

1. Shut your computer off at 10pm. Get sleep. Otherwise, you are creating the garden where depression and anxiety flourish best.

2. Go outside. Get fresh air.

3. Meet people in coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants and social groups.

4. Join something positive. Like a study group or a group that shares some of your interests.

5. Volunteer for something. Make someone else's life better.

6. Give yourself a makeover and pay attention to your grooming and weight. And posture.

7. Get more exercise. Go to a gym. Go running.
It improves your mood.

8. Give up
all the junk food and MSG /hfcs garbage that is messing with your metabolism and probably contributing to your emotional crashes.

9. Read more books and become a more interested and interesting person.

10. Get over the jealousy thing right now. It isn't becoming. Just because others have found happiness isn't a reason to spend your time just being bitter and resentful of others.

If you think you are a bit broken, then use the upcoming year to set yourself right and delve into developing yourself. Rebuild yourself...

But do not waste your life looking for pity and attention because you are either too lazy or unwilling to jump out there and really live.

There is only a limited supply of sympathy for anyone who complains about their life but doesn't do anything to improve themselves or take some chances in finding love. Advice needs followup action"

There you have it, a kick in the pants, introspective guide to getting a boyfriend in 2012. Happy New Year all!