The Science of Gaydar

Does gaydar exist? I think so because I have seen mine at work in a few cases. Though is there a science to it?

Until now the scientists and social researchers have been trying to figure out how gay men can determine how is and isn't- or how anyone can determine someone's sexuality. New, interesting research has been conducted on that very premise.

Researcher's have studied the swirl of men's hair, the length of ringfingers among other physical traits and say these can be factors that determine someones sexual orientation. It's not always accurate as their are more nuanced factors ay work with gaydar. Still, a very interesting study with interesting results.

Eye Flirting and How Not to Come On too Strong

Today I was on the subway and I noticed a guy around my age sitting across from me was giving me sultry looks. At first I was flattered as I had rushed onto the train and was a bit frazzled from running for the train, finding an available seat, not to mention tired after a long day at work- and he thought I was still flirting material. After a bit of back and forth eye flirting he got off.

I then realized his gaze was different than other guys who were eye flirting- it was longer and more intense. And he didn't seem to have a bag or seem to be coming from work. Was he cruising?

Quite possibly. His gazed seemed to give hookup vibes after I thought it over. I was a bit embarrassed at entertaining him as that's not what I'm after.

This is where coming on too strongly can work against you not in your favor. A general rule I use is looking quickly (one or two seconds) 3 times to see if he does the same. If noting happens after the third time I stop. I don't tend to look at someone on the street for too long either as that makes almost anyone uncomfortable, including myself (the setting where this happens also determines the appropriateness of eye flirting) Not to mention it can be creepy if you hold your gaze for too long and do it in the wrong manner at the wrong person.

Was that the subway an appropriate setting for this man to do that? Was he an expert at eye flirting or just looking for something else? (kinda of creepy if it's the latter on a crowded subway train) I don't know and probably never will, though it did give me some more useful experience.

Making of Me: John Barrowman Documentrary

With the passage of gay marriage legalization in Iowa (yes Iowa) and Vermont I'm returning with a recovering spirit. More about that in another post.

I'm watching the documentary about John Barrowman's quest to scientifically prove people are born with their sexuality and disprove myths about "becoming" one thing or another.

It's an interesting documentary but there was one part that I don't really agree with. In one segment John goes to a home of a family to give an example of gender non-conformity in childern as a early sign of someone being born lesbian or gay (or bi).

He introduces us to a 12 year old boy who is very much into Care Bares, Barbie dolls and other stereotypically girl things. He make the point that gay men show signs of liking things that girls like at an early age and vice versa for lesbians. Though, what about gay men who were into cars as little boys and still are? What about the guys who didn't experience gender non-conformity? What about bisexuals? How are they supposed to "act."

I know he wasn't trying to stereotype but some viewers might think we're all "like that" and paint us with the same brush.

Anyway it's still a good documentary and worth a watch.

Iowa Makes History

Iowa is allowing gay marriages. I thought it would be New York or New Jersey or another state in New England but Iowa??

Apparently so. This is one great step (and unexpected) in the gay right movement. Here's to hoping the other states will follow suit soon.

A snippet from the official documents of the ruling:

"In a unanimous decision, the Iowa Supreme Court
today held that the Iowa statute limiting civil marriage to a union between a man and a woman violates the equal protection clause of the Iowa Constitution.

The decision strikes the language from Iowa Code section 595.2 limiting civil
marriage to a man and a woman. It further directs that the remaining statutory
language be interpreted and applied in a manner allowing gay and lesbian
people full access to the institution of civil marriage."

Read about the historical ruling here and here.

Gaining Some Perspective on People: Part One

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Truth About Homophobia

What many of us have come to believe as the truth, a clip from the documentary "Middle Sexes."

Straight Privilege?

Is there such a thing as straight privilege? The following list is taken from an essay based on a book by Peggy McIntosh called White Privilege. Some people within the GLBT community think there's such a thing as Straight Privilege, you decide.



1. I am not identified — politically, socially, economically or otherwise — by my sexual orientation.
2. I do not have to fear that my family’s, friends’ or coworkers’ finding out about my sexual orientation will have emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual or economic consequences.
3. My sexual orientation is not used to exclude me from any profession or organization (e.g., teaching, the military, the Boy Scouts).
4. I am not accused of being deviant, warped, perverted or psychologically confused because of my sexual orientation.
5. I can go home from most meetings, classes and conversations without feeling excluded, attacked, ostracized, outnumbered, intimidated, stereotyped, dehumanized or feared because of my sexual orientation.
6. People don’t assume I know other heterosexuals just because they’re heterosexual.
7. People don’t ask me why I chose my sexual orientation, and they certainly don’t ask me why I chose to be open about it.
8. I can easily find a religious community that will not exclude me for being heterosexual.
9. I am guaranteed to find sex education material for couples of my sexual orientation.
10. My masculinity or femininity is not challenged because of my sexual orientation.
11. When I talk about my heterosexuality in casual conversation, I will not be accused of pushing my sexual orientation onto others.
12. Whether I rent a movie or go to a theater, I can be sure I will have no trouble finding my sexual orientation represented accurately.
13. I am guaranteed to find people of my sexual orientation represented in the UW curriculum, faculty, administration and alumni.
14. I can walk in public holding my significant other’s hand and not have people stare, snicker — or worse.
15. My individual behavior does not reflect on people who identify as heterosexual.
16. In everyday conversation, the language used assumes my sexual orientation. That is, “sex” refers only to heterosexual sex; “family” refers only to one man, one woman and their children.
17. People do not assume I am sexually experienced because of my sexual orientation.
18. I did not grow up with games that ridiculed my sexual orientation (e.g., “fag tag,” or “smear the queer”).
19. My sexual orientation is not used as a synonym for “bad” or “stupid.”
20. People don’t assume I possess any mysterious means of identifying other heterosexuals (e.g., “straightdar”).
21. I don’t have to defend my sexual orientation.

"If you think this is just more fag whining (I’m accused of this each and every time I write about gay issues), then reread the last point and ask yourself what an opinion column pointing out the privileges heterosexuals enjoy by virtue of being heterosexual represents. Give up? It represents one more gay person being denied one of the many privileges straight people take for granted by having to justify his existence."